Quran provides us with answers for any concerns. We just have to
be patient, trust in God and seek His guidance, and recite the
Quran every Dawn or even more often than that to analyze its
lessons and precise words. Most assuredly, we will receive our
answers in a divinely planned time frame if we sincerely do
that.
We gather from the Quran that EGO is the one disastrous idol
that believers must fight back and defeat (2:54.) It seems that
in most of the time ego is the underlying foundation for
idolizing entities beside God (2:87, 45:23-27). Our ego, when
not suppressed, tends to justify most of the arguments offered
by Satan to idolize our opinions, get more attached to our
culture, cherish our parents' religion, hesitate to choose
rightfully, reject the guidance, refuse to increase our
knowledge because we already know it all, and so on. In other
words, Satan, his descendants, and his allies from among the
humans and the jinns mainly rely on our egos to carry out their
plan of diverting us from God's path.
This reminder is only an attempt to understand what ego is, and
why sometimes, in the course of our daily life, we confuse ego
with other constructive and positive personality values such as
high self esteem, certainty, or being blessed with a leadership
or authoritative qualities. Does humility contradict or
interfere with having high levels of any of these three values?
We often mix up an arrogant individual with another of a
high self esteem. We consider those who are assertive in their
views as arrogant ones. We also perceive those who
God allows them to be in positions of authority or leadership as
people with inflated egos. All three perceptions when not backed
up with knowledge, guidance, and fair analysis, lead us to
unjustly draw wrong conclusion, and cheat our souls by passing
crippled judgments on others. Self esteem, certainty, and
leadership qualities are three different elements of the
character with humility as a common dominator and a guard, and
they are totally distinct from ego.
Let's start to shed the light on the ego and what ego brings to
our character. Ego is one sign of weakness and
hesitance, and a negative attribute that we all, humans, are
born with. It is within us by default. Depending on how much ego
is able to grow within us we start, arrogantly, to think that we
are BETTER than every body else. We give
ourselves a very distinct status or rank that is totally DIFFERENT
from and HIGHER than the others around us. In
other words, it is a negative, exaggerated feeling of false
superiority, undeserved pride, and baseless or out of place self
recognition. A person with an ego would seek the attention, need
the fame, be thirsty to brag, talk much and do little, and
demand the respect instead of earning it.. This attitude serves
as a SHIELD from listening or paying attention
to anything but ourselves. Consequently, we fail to learn or
become certain ; our ego reflects insecurity, fear, uncertainty,
and weakness.
The Ego as a god
[25:43] Have you seen the one whose god
is his own ego? Will you be his advocate?
[25:44] Do you think that most
of them hear, or understand? They are just like
animals; no, they are far worse.
Common Form of Idolatry: The Ego As A god
[45:23] Have you noted the one whose god
is his ego? Consequently, GOD sends him astray,
despite his knowledge, seals his hearing and his
mind, and places a veil on his eyes. Who then
can guide him, after such a decision by GOD? Would you not take
heed?
An example of an entity that has a huge ego would be Satan. He arrogantly refused to obey God and prostrate in front of Adam,
because he though he is BETTER than him:
[7:11] We created you, then we shaped
you, then we said to the angels, "Fall prostrate before Adam."
They fell prostrate, except Iblees (Satan); he was not with the
prostrators.
The Test Begins
[7:12] He said, "What prevented
you from prostrating when I ordered you?" He said, "I am
better than he; You created me from fire, and
created him from mud."
[7:13] He said, "Therefore, you must go
down, for you are not to be arrogant here.
Get out; you are debased."
Another example would be all the disbelievers and the
hypocrites on earth who simply turn away from the guidance
because they think they are far better than the guided ones, and
far above the prophets and messengers who deliver God's message.
Out of arrogance and ignorance, they wouldn't let go of their
ways and traditions:
Appearances May Be Deceiving
[2:204] Among the people, one
may impress you with his utterances concerning this
life, and may even call upon GOD to witness his innermost
thoughts, while he is a most ardent opponent.
[2:205] As soon as he leaves,
he roams the earth corruptingly, destroying properties and
lives. GOD does not love corruption.
[2:206] When he is told,
"Observe GOD," he becomes arrogantly indignant.
Consequently, his only destiny is Hell; what a miserable abode.
[45:7] Woe to every fabricator, guilty.*
[45:8] The one who hears GOD's
revelations recited to him, then insists arrogantly
on his way, as if he never heard them. Promise him a painful
retribution.
[84:10] As for the one who receives his
record behind his back,
[84:11] He will be ridden with remorse.
[84:12] And will burn in Hell.
[84:13] He used to act
arrogantly among his people.
[84:14] He thought that he
will never be called to account.
On the other hand, high self esteem is a positive attribute.
It is proportional to the level of our AWARENESS
of who we are, the level of our RESPECT
and COMFORT we have for our own selves, how
much we are PASSIONATE about our souls,
how much BELIEF and TRUST we
put in everything about us and within us, and how much we
APPRECIATE all what is about us and
within us ; personality, upbringing, morals and integrity,
beliefs, ideologies, style of thinking, family, culture,
education, experience in any aspect of life, etc..
Self esteem gets developed from the scratch in our character
after we are born and also can be enhanced or unfortunately
deteriorate and get
lost. This depends on our surroundings and on the strength of
our will from the very early stages of childhood and all the way
until we leave this earth.
A good example of a prophet with a good level of self esteem
would be prophet Joseph. He asked the king of Egypt to be the
chief of the ministry of finance (the highest position in that
ministry) and said " I'm good at that, or I'm qualified for
that." He was aware of his area of strength, he was
content and confident about that, he acknowledged his ability,
and he expressed his respect to himself in that regard, BUT he
never claimed that he is better or far above every one else in
that area:
Joseph Attains Prominence
[12:54] The king said, "Bring him to
me, so I can hire him to work for me." When he talked with
him, he said, "Today, you have a prominent position with
us."
[12:55] He said, "Make me
the treasurer, for I am experienced in this area and
knowledgeable."
[12:56] We thus established Joseph on
earth, ruling as he wished. We shower our mercy upon
whomever we will, and we never fail to recompense the
righteous.
Certainty or being assertive is another quality when based on physical facts,
verifiable information, knowledge, and logically balanced
arguments. The tone of this kind of certainty is always
intimidating for those who are weak in knowledge and character.
They often find their comfort zone and balance by weakly
adhering to their own views, attacking the voice of certainty,
and bringing down any introduced good logic, or proven
knowledge. Out of arrogance and ignorance, they resist
to absorb information, use their brains, or add to their rusty
and rigid memories. God commands us to not be intimidated by
such people:
A Common Occurrence
[22:8] Among the people there is
the one who argues about GOD without
knowledge, and without guidance,
and without an enlightening scripture.
[22:9] Arrogantly he strives
to divert the people from the path of GOD. He thus
incurs humiliation in this life, and we commit him on the Day of
Resurrection to the agony of burning.
[30:60] Therefore, you shall steadfastly
persevere - for GOD's promise is the truth - and do
not be intimidated by those who have not attained certainty.
Positive leadership in any aspect or task in
life, in most of the times, is indicative of
integrity, psychological health, self confidence, clear and
organized mind, good vision, scientific and logical mentality,
knowledge and education, high quality of team work, strong
character, ability to listen, learn, and grow in order to be
creative. All these positive qualities, combined together,
would partake in the personality of an authoritative and
successful leader, and would not considered a suitable media for
the growth of ego. Out of arrogance, ignorance, and hypocrisy,
those who are weak in character simply hate to see a
healthy model like that. Jealousy eats them up inside out, and
hatred flows out of their actions and words. A good example that
indicates there is no contradiction between being righteous
worshipers and authoritative leaders would be Abraham and some
of his descendants. The hypocrites, of course, set the worst
example for those who would not appreciate such a quality:
[4:54] Are they envious of the
people because GOD has showered them with His blessings?
We have given Abraham's family the scripture, and
wisdom; we granted them a great authority.
[38:45] Remember also our
servants Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. They were
resourceful, and possessed vision.
[21:72] And we granted him Isaac and
Jacob as a gift, and we made them both righteous.
[21:73] We made them imams who
guided in accordance with our commandments, and we taught them
how to work righteousness, and how to observe the Contact
Prayers (Salat) and the obligatory charity (Zakat).* To us, they
were devoted worshipers.
Do Not Befriend Hypocrites
[3:118] O you who believe, do not
befriend outsiders who never cease to wish you harm; they even
wish to see you suffer. Hatred flows out of their
mouths and what they hide in their chests is far worse.
We thus clarify the revelations for you, if you understand.
[3:119] Here you are loving them, while
they do not love you, and you believe in all the scripture. When
they meet you they say, "We believe," but as soon as they leave,
they bite their fingers out of rage towards you.
Say, "Die in your rage." GOD is fully
aware of the innermost thoughts.
[3:120] When anything good
comes your way they hurt, and when something bad happens to you
they rejoice. If you steadfastly persevere, and
maintain righteousness, their schemes will never hurt you. GOD
is fully aware of everything they do.
Based on this analysis, we can conclude that a person who is
blessed with a reasonable amount of self esteem, doesn't need
to exaggerate or inflate his/her self respect. A person with a
good self esteem doesn't demand the attention of everyone
around, doesn't believe in his/her superiority, but simply is
confident, comfortable, and content with who he/she is. This
attitude brings humility and automatically antagonizes the power
of our egos inside us, thus makes us grow healthier,
observe more, with eagerness to learn. A person who is assertive
based on true knowledge and proofs simply is not in any need
to rise above the group. The presented verifiable views will
score so high against falsehood, without an effort or an urge by
the certain ones to claim superiority. Ego has no place, again,
in this equation as knowledge and certainty cannot be attained
if the ego is active within us. A righteous and healthy
leadership cannot continue to grow on a successful path if
shielded with arrogance. This deprived the leader
from listening, seeing, or feeling the needs of others.
In conclusion, neither one of these three positive attributes
would complement or truly coexist with a grown ego. Once our
egos are inflated, we are doubtful and insecure ; our self
esteem goes down, we cannot attain knowledge or certainty, and
we lose our authority and the respect of those around us.
As believers it is always a plus to be self confident, and it is
highly recommended to always try to seek all the means
to enhance our self esteem. The reason for that is because with
the inner beauty a good self esteem brings, we can set
a righteous example and promote the truth God has blessed us
with in a pleasant and positive attitude. When we are confident
and passionate about who we are, this gets reflected in
everything we say and do. When we exhibit our self respect,
others sense the same way about us. All this would make them
more receptive to whatever we preach. It is absolutely OK to
acknowledge, respect, and love who we are. It is not a negative
attribute to be certain based on knowledge not conjecture, and
it is a blessing from God almighty to be granted all the
qualities of leadership in order to establish God's laws. BUT it
is a sickness and a formula of self destruction to lose the
balance and cross the lines to the point that would allow our
egos to show in the picture and reverse these positive
attributes. Humility is one of the guards against losing that
balance. Being humble goes hand in hand with self esteem,
certainty, or righteous leadership. In fact, humility is the
positive strength and the beauty we gain from all three. As
widely misunderstood, humility is not attainable by staying
quiet, or by being selfish, shying away from sharing our views
but rather by kindly utilizing our healthy energy and characters
to live for and serve others and to strive in making a difference.
Peaceful Friday, salaam and God bless you.
