We are born with a strong instinct to be unconditionally
attached to our kids and parents. God acknowledges this kind of
special bond by using it as an allegory to relate to His truth
and to invite us to commemorate Him. In 2:146, and 6:20 God
states that those who believe among the recipients of the
previous scriptures recognize the truth in the Quran just
as they recognize their own children. In 2:200, God invites us
to commemorate Him as much as we commemorate our own parents or
even more. We also have an example of a righteous mother, Moses'
mother, who was going so anxious because she was going to
be separated from her son. She was inspired by God almighty to
throw Moses in the river. She tried her best to submit and trust
in God. Even though God assured her that Moses will be saved,
and will be returned to her, she could not help her worries as a
mother. She asked her daughter to trace Moses' path and make
sure he is fine (28:7-13).
Having children is among the blessings, and the
pleasures that we implore God for. At certain stage of our
life, we do get this urge to parent, nourish, and care for
those little creatures who will carry our family name and
traditions, and give some meaning or add a special flavor to
our life, in hope that they will fill our hearts with joy
and keep us going, dreaming, and motivated.
Prophet Zacharia implored God for that:
Zachariah
[19:2] A narration about your Lord's
mercy towards His servant Zachariah.
[19:3] He called his Lord, a secret
call.
[19:4] He said, "My Lord, the bones
have turned brittle in my body, and my hair is aflame with
gray. As I implore You, my Lord, I never despair.
[19:5] "I worry about
my dependants after me, and my wife has been sterile. Grant
me, from You, an heir.
[19:6] "Let him be my heir
and the heir of Jacob's clan, and make him, my Lord,
acceptable."
Prophet Abraham prayed for that blessing as well and was
truly appreciative of becoming a father at his old age. His
wife was pleased to hear the news about her pregnancy:
[14:39] "Praise be to GOD for
granting me, despite my old age, Ismail and Isaac.
My Lord answers the prayers.
[11:71] His wife was standing, and
she laughed when we gave her the good
news about Isaac, and after Isaac, Jacob.
[11:72] She said, "Woe to me, how
could I bear a child at my age, and here is my husband, an
old man? This is really strange!"
[11:73] They said,"Do you find it
strange for GOD? GOD has bestowed His mercy and
blessings upon you, O inhabitants of the shrine.
He is Praiseworthy, Glorious."
Like all blessings, we are tested through our children. Are
we going to idolize them? Are we going to dedicate our lives
just for them? Are we going to think of them all day and
night? Or, are we going to use them to connect with God, to
worship Him, to be appreciative, and to attain higher ranks
in the Hereafter? Like all other blessings, we either
advance or regress while dealing with our kids in this life.
How do we please God through the blessing of having
children and through the instinct of parenthood created
within us?
God is pleased with us when we fulfill the obligations He
commands us to fulfill, and when we pass our tests that He
customize for us. Within the Quran, there are many verses
that indicate that we do have certain obligations towards
our families and our children. We are to enjoin them to
follow the monotheistic path of God, and to stick to the
standards of righteousness detailed and dictated by God, and
only God. We are to raise them and nourish them according to
the values of the Quran. In doing that, we partake in the
making of a superior quality building units for the
community God almighty repeatedly commands us to strive for.
The best community, in the sight of God, is the one that
advocates righteousness and forbid evil. How can this
logically be achievable if the building units of the
community are defective, weak, or simply are not the right
ones?
[3:104] Let there be a community of
you who invite to what is good,
advocate righteousness, and
forbid evil. These are the
winners.
The Best Community
[3:110] You are the best community
ever raised among the people: you advocate
righteousness and forbid evil,
and you believe in GOD. ....
Based on 3:104, we achieve higher ranks and we become
winners when we strive in this direction ; when we build
this community by our hard work, and through our own kids.
When God repeats for us that we must exhort one another as
community members to uphold the truth, it is a given that we
start with our own family and our own children ; the ones
that we love and care for the most ; the ones that we
naturally wish the best for.
[7:145] ... "You shall uphold
these teachings strongly, and exhort your
people to uphold them - these are the best
teachings. I will point out for you the fate of the
wicked."
[8:1] ... You shall
observe GOD, exhort one another to
be righteous, and obey GOD and His messenger,
if you are believers.
[103:3] Except those who believe
and lead a righteous life, and exhort one
another to uphold the truth,
and exhort one another
to be steadfast.
When God says that a good example has been set for us by
prophet Abraham, then we should heed the guidance and learn
from this vanguard in Submission. Abraham constantly cared
about his descendants, his children, and his community to be
righteous It is beautiful to see the love of the
children mixed with the love of pleasing God, yet keep the
balance between both passions at all times. The consequence
of such ideal balance is leaving descendants who will praise
God, advocate the morality of the Quran, and promote nothing
but the divine truth. The following verses contain
the highest standards of the human parenting emotions as
they are expressed by true righteous and guided submitters:
[2:127] As Abraham raised the
foundations of the shrine, together with Ismail (they
prayed): "Our Lord, accept this from us. You are the Hearer,
the Omniscient.
[2:128] "Our Lord, make us submitters
to You, and from our descendants
let there be a community of submitters to You. Teach
us the rites of our religion, and redeem us. You
are the Redeemer, Most Merciful.
[2:132] Moreover, Abraham
exhorted his children to do the same,
and so did Jacob: "O my children,
GOD has pointed out the religion for you; do not die except
as submitters."
[2:133] Had you witnessed Jacob on
his death bed; he said to his children, "What
will you worship after I die?" They said, "We
will worship your god; the god of your fathers Abraham,
Ismail, and Isaac; the one god. To Him we are submitters."
Abraham
[14:35] Recall that Abraham said, "My
Lord, make this a peaceful land, and protect me
and my children from worshiping idols.
[14:37] "Our Lord, I have settled
part of my family in this plantless
valley, at Your Sacred House. Our Lord, they are to
observe the Contact Prayers (Salat), so let throngs of
people converge upon them, and provide for them
all kinds of fruits, that they may be appreciative.
We also cannot ignore the wisdom of Luqmaan and how he cared
to advise his son with what would please God the most:
[31:13] Recall that Luqmaan said
to his son, as he enlightened him, "O my son,
do not set up any idols beside GOD;
idolatry is a gross injustice."*
Luqmaan's Advice
[31:16] "O my son,
know that even something as tiny as a mustard seed, deep
inside a rock, be it in the heavens or the earth, GOD
will bring it. GOD is Sublime, Cognizant.
[31:17] "O my son,
you shall observe the Contact Prayers (Salat).
You shall advocate righteousness and forbid evil, and
remain steadfast in the face of adversity. These are the
most honorable traits.
[31:18] "You shall not
treat the people with arrogance, nor shall you roam the
earth proudly. GOD does not like the arrogant showoffs.
[31:19] "Walk humbly and
lower your voice - the ugliest voice is
the donkey's voice."
There is also this direct command from God almighty to
enjoin our family to observe the contact prayer which we all
know it prohibits evil and vice. Not only we enjoin them to
observe the contact prayer, but we are to steadfastly
persevere in doing that. We are not to waver, or give up on
them:
The Parents' Responsibility
[20:132] You shall
enjoin your family
to observe the contact
prayers (Salat), and steadfastly persevere in doing
so. We do not ask you for any provisions;
we are the ones who provide for you. The ultimate
triumph belongs to the righteous.
While fulfilling this honorable obligation and while
processing and molding these building blocks of a righteous
community, it is crucial to remember that our freedom of
choice is among our God given instincts and gifts that He
has honored the human race with. With His blessings of the
hearing, the eyesight, and the brains, we are the only
intellectual creatures on earth that reflect, differentiate,
judge, then practice this freedom of choice. When we
experience our freedom, we subsequently sense other great
qualities that God has granted us such as our dignity and
the equality with others. In other words, we feel dignified
and and we sense our equality to others when we are
practicing our freedom of choice.
During the very early stages of infancy and childhood, the
kids sense and value all these meanings and qualities.
Studies have shown that the full attendance and response to
little infants' needs and crying does contribute to their
future self esteem, courage, and trust. Being loved,
honored, dignified, and fully nourished starting by this
kind of intensive and attentive care as infants by parents,
develops these important basics in our kids personalities,
and enhances their abilities, their inner beauty, and their
awareness.
After that, at early childhood, we must fully respect their
individuality, and their own pace of development. We must
strive to find out their true qualities and talents, and
pursue all means that would strengthen their young souls.
Here, I'd like to stress out how sometimes parents try to
condition or control the intellectual growth of their own
kids. They try to shape their way of perception and learning
by imposing limited styles of thinking and behavior on them.
They also intimidate them in way that forces them to always
compromise their own choices. This is nothing but a
deprivation of their freedom and hence their dignity. All
this can start that early and the kids do not have the
capacity to fight for their free will. Unfortunately, they
give up. They get molded, conditioned, shackled, and trapped
into their parents' own ideals. The result is to have kids
who are simply following their parents blindly, without
a will or a choice. This is definitely not our goal as
righteous parents. We are not to bring up robots or parrots
to this world. As righteous believers and students of the
Quran, we should strive to shape our kids as healthy,
free, dignified, and confident ones, with no conditioning,
fear, intimidation, or oppression. This automatically embed
all the elements and values of faith and spirituality into
their hearts. Later on, when we enjoin them to adopt and
follow the straight path of God, they will be, by God's
will, more than ready to trust us, receive from us, and
intellectually analyze what we present to them. They will
be equipped emotionally and mentally to appreciate good
logic, then judge and choose for themselves. This would be
the best we could offer our kids.
The difference between us, submitters, and other parents is
that we know that there should be no compulsion in religion
(2:256, 2:148), and that the guidance comes only from God.
While we are trying our best to please God alone,
inviting our kids to adopt the path of One God, and to
follow the teachings of that One God, we must be righteous
enough to always create the balance of enlightening without
forcing. Keeping the bond of love, respect, and trust
along with some space and tolerance would be far better in
the sight of God than pressuring or oppressing them. Let's
perform our parenting duty while trusting God, and without
shattering the values that God has honored our kids with.
Indeed God guides whomever He wills. In the worst case
scenario, we must learn from Noah how he submitted to the
will of God when his son disobeyed him and ended up with the
losers of his community. Let's learn how and when we let go
just like Noah, and leave the rest up to God:
[11:45] Noah implored his Lord: "My
Lord, my son is a member of my family, and Your promise is
the truth. You are the wisest of the wise."
The Myth of Intercession*
[11:46] He said, "O Noah, he is not
of your family. It is unrighteous to ask Me for something
you do not know.* I enlighten you, lest you be like the
ignorant."
[11:47] He said, "My Lord,
I seek refuge in You, lest I implore You again for something
I do not know. Unless You forgive me, and have mercy on me,
I will be with the losers."
So, our youth, young adults, and future parents, this is
to remind you that your parents have tried their best
dealing with you. For sure, they have made mistakes, while
raising you. Please, get over these mistakes, and liberate
your souls from any traces of conditioning they might have
done to you. Please stop blaming them. Instead, start forgiving
them as they have tried the best they could. Please
use your eyesight, hearing, and the brains to verify any
information, gain knowledge, and get the best out of the
wisdom of the Quran you are witnessing. Reach for your own
inner beauty and qualities, and then share all of this with
us. Promise us that you will do better, and learn from your
parents' mistakes. Promise us that you will love your
children, you will honor them, you will dignify them, you
will free them from all traces of fear, conditioning, and
intimidation. In return, they will be able to appreciate the
logic, and the clarity of this message, proclaim it, and
promote it, properly, without fear, hesitance or
alterations. They will be courageous enough to stand for the
absolute truth not for your own weaknesses, shortcomings,
and ignorance. They will be the appropriate building blocks
for a future, righteous community. We have tried our best to
fulfill our duties and obligations, and you are the ones who
will continue on this straight path. It is your turn to take
over, and fulfill your obligations.
I pray to God that all of us , God willing, will be able to
attain this reward in the
Hereafter:
[52:21] For those who believed,
and their children also followed them in belief,
we will have their children join them. We never fail
to reward them for any work. Every person is paid
for what he did.
_____________
[14:40] "My Lord, make me one who
consistently observes the Contact Prayers (Salat),
and also my children. Our Lord, please answer my
prayers.
[25:74] "Our Lord, let our spouses
and children be a source of joy for us, and
keep us in the forefront of the righteous."
[46:15] ...... "My Lord, direct me to
appreciate the blessings You have bestowed upon me and upon
my parents, and to do the righteous works that please You.
Let my children be righteous as well. I have
repented to You; I am a submitter."
Peaceful Friday, Salaam, and God bless you.
